General Zod Demands Your Vote

Posted on October 14, 2008

General Zod is running for president. If he gets voted in it will probably be the very last presidential election we have to worry about. Here's three of his campaign promises.

I do not take orders. I give them. Congress shall no longer have the ability to impeach me or override my decisions, and the Supreme Court shall not meddle in government affairs.
Your freedom will be expanded. You will be even more free to give your money and lives to me, and to be my eternal subjects.
Corporate reform. You people have become disgusting minions to these things you call "corporations". These things take your money and your land, put you into debt, send your jobs overseas, provide you with unsafe foods, and sue you when you say anything bad about them. Yet you people fatten them up at the ballot box. You give them free land, name your stadiums after them, allow them to telemarket you, and even sacrifice your own bankruptcy protections. Quite frankly it astonishes me. I will break this sickly codependency. It is I who shall be your ruler. I shall empower you with wealth to give me as tribute. A corporation cannot bow to me or give me tribute that comes from the heart.

Note: General Zod's campaign site is no longer available. It was fun while it lasted. The site even had a kids page.

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