Ariana Grande Hates Donuts, America and Fat People

Posted on July 8, 2015

Ariana Grande did something amazing -- she has managed to steal the headlines from Donald Trump. Ariana was with one of her backup dancers at a small donut shop in California late at night. They were there, presumably, to buy some donuts. Then things got weird.

The donut store has a hidden security camera which captured Ariana and her current romantic interest looking at powdered donuts. He then dares her to lick the donuts. She sticks her tongue out and it looks like she does lick one or two. These are donuts that will be sold to other customers. But that was just the beginning.

She and the dancer made out for a bit, but stopped when an employee brought out a fresh tray of large donuts. Ariana looked at the fresh donuts and exclaimed, "What the f–k is that? I hate Americans! I hate America! That's disgusting!!" So, to recap what we've learned: 1) Ariana is hooking up with her backup dancer, 2) she licked donuts other people were going to buy and 3) she really hates America and Americans. No doubt Ariana's publicist is contemplating getting into another business at this point.

The fallout has been swift and immediate. Ariana was supposed to sing at Major League Baseball's All-Star concert this weekend, but she's pulled out...or been dumped. Demi Lovato is subbing in now. Ariana is now getting Trump levels of hate spewed at her. So she issued an explanation. It's not that she hates America...she just hates fat people. That's so much better.

Here is her statement: "I am EXTREMELY proud to be an American and I've always made it clear that I love my country. What I said in a private moment with my friend, who was buying the donuts, was taken out of context and I am sorry for not using more discretion with my choice of words. As an advocate for healthy eating, food is very important to me and I sometimes get upset by how freely we as Americans eat and consume things without giving any thought to the consequences that it has on our health and society as a whole. The fact that the United States has the highest child obesity rate in the world frustrates me. We need to do more to educate ourselves and our children about the dangers of overeating and the poison we put in our bodies. We need to demand more from our food industry. However I should have known better in how I expressed myself; and with my new responsibility to others as a public figure I will strive to be better. As for why I cannot be at the MLB show, I have had emergency oral surgery and due to recover I cannot attend the show. I hope to make it up to all those fans soon. That being said let me once again apologize if I have offended anyone with my poor choice of words."

What kind of person goes into a donut shop and finds donuts disgusting? What did she expect them to sell: kale chips? Here's the video which shows the comments were not taken out of context. We think childhood obesity was the furthest thing from her mind:

Second Apology

Ariana Grande has apologized again for licking doughnuts in a story and saying she hates America. This time she used a video for her apology and it comes off as more sincere than her first apology. Doughnutgate may be coming to an end providing Ariana can resist licking doughnuts on future visits to bakeries.

Her latest apology comes in a video called "sorry babes." She doesn't explain her bizarre behavior in the video but she admits it was wrong and says she is very sorry.

Ariana says she is actually proud to be American. She says she has never been prouder of the United States because of the progressive movements over the past couple months.

Ariana found it very embarrassing watching herself lick doughnuts on the store video. She says, "I wanted to shove my face in the pillow. I wanted to disappear." She also says, "Seeing how ugly it looks when you behave a certain way makes you never want to behave that way again." Ariana also says it has been a rough 24 hours. She is very disappointed in herself.

Ariana says, "I'm 22 years old. I'm human. I've still got a lot to learn and I make mistakes." She also says she is very sorry.

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